Heart Rachel : November 2012

Well, here it is - my first ever Blog!

After months of deliberating and noseying through twitter at varying social fanatics Blogger Posts and Tumblr posts I realised this could be a cute and constructive way to use the web to my (and hopefully many other people’s) benefit..

So, I intend to use Blogger as an online diary, a way to document what is happening in my world and this hopefully will fall into the hands of people whom it may be of use medically, professionally and of course socially to plus all you noseys out there (yes I fall into that bracket too).

I’m Rachel I am married to my soulmate and together we have 3 children, I live in the UK in Yorkshire with my husband and boys and we have a mini-zoo of pets going on: Lincoln is our Black Lab pup who is also learning to become a gun dog - v cute - watch out for lots of pics. We have 3 cats, fish, and terrapins and guinea pigs. Highly rewarding, almost as much as parenting is - owning pets. If only everyone was of a similar heart regarding animals eh?

I bake a lot, Nigella Lawson is probably my favourite Domestic Godess of all time, her books are inspirational and the way her books read have me giggling along with her, definitely my kinda gal. I love cooking and we recently started to grow most of the food we cook and eat although are pretty much rookies after 2 years, 2 veggie patches and only 1 greenhouse we welcome any feedback you have :)

I am a horror geek, any horror movie I will watch! I love a good romance and quite enjoy thrillers but my heart lies with the Zombie and Apocalypse concept. I'm a HUGE zombie fanatic, the original Dawn of the Dead is one of my all-time favourite ever movies and the remake is pretty hot too! I love The Walking Dead comics by Mr Robert Kirkman (who doesn't?). AMC along with Gale Anne-Hurd, Glen Mazzra and the incredible creative-genius that is Greg Nicotero have done nothing short of magnificent with the current TV Show and the cast are simply sublime - long may it continue to smash its own set records along the way (brilliant to see the extreme talents of British actors Andrew Lincoln and David Morrissey leading major roles there too) and with the hunky, funky Norman Reedus in key survival mode who would expect anything short of EPIC?.. not me!

I love the simple quiet life. As a family and individual (as the break from the daily routine is always welcomed in my eyes) we cycle, walk and love life based crafting on seasons and pending celebrations. Expect pictures and future blogs and maybe cries for help when things go terribly wrong! (which they do - a lot!!)

ALSO: I am planning and mapping out a set characters that I've been toying with for many, many years and have finally decided to go for it (with my husband’s persuasion). I’m thinking of developing a teen-novel series and am finding it uplifting, rejuvenating and generally having lots of fun getting lost in fantasy-drama (like I said, the break from reality is always welcomed - I'm sure you will agree?).

I have other interests in Art, INK, LFC, Beauty, Cosmetology and Fashion. I adore Cath Kidston and the whole concept of traditional country kitsch England. I love the media but I hate the paparazzi - Pah!

The main reason for me mailing here and the only reason I find myself revealing such details about myself is that over this last year I have found myself at a darker place than ever anticipated in my life (health wise). As a mum to active, adventurous and adorable boys I always expected my life to be in wellies digging, running kicking a ball or collecting up (whilst dodging) Nerf bullets from around the gardens but NO!

Becoming ill and being diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism has hit me like a ton of bricks, or to be terribly english: it's completely knocked my block off! I spend days (as today) sat in bed with a cuppa, watching loose women with a mind a million times more active than my body wants to allow. A side effect: grumpiness, frustration and weepiness (which my husband hates lol) and a self diagnosis of 'emotionally unstableness' haha. I am, I cry at everything and some days I look, I analyse and I tut at myself for being so soppy, and those are the days I fall into guilt-ridden depression (for allowing myself to feel this way, or for being too nice to someone the previous day and wondering if they would question this and my sincerity and although it was sincere would they believe it? Surely no one can be so nice all the time? I believe you can but I know millions would disagree?) BUT generally (mainly) because I can’t manage to do the things I could do with my eyes closed whilst multitasking the previous year; so I sit watching a good horror and get lost in the gore rather than having to think and over think on life. Don't dwell, don't ever dwell - that’s the key!

So, you'd think the way I whine and write I would have a totally incurable terminal nasty, frightening illness?. Well .. NO (she says thanking the Lord). Although what I have is nasty and difficult to live through I am super blessed it is completely curable and life continues post-surgery as 'normal'.

I have Hyperthyroidism and subsequently Graves Disease. I developed Leukopenia from this and have also been a Lupus patient since the age of 14. Unfortunately a combination of these illness' means the impact on my body is harsh. My immune system is low to non-existent and my liver struggles due to the crazy amount of meds I have to take to control my body until I am physically stable and strong enough to undergo and recover from surgery.. I will require blood transfusions pre and post surgery to which I am eternally grateful to blood donors for making this possible (the work of Angels). I have nodules on my thyroid and a large goitre which is causing issues and requires removal, it is attached to my thyroid and as a consequence my thyroid is extremely enlarged. Once I have my thyroid removed, other than possible calcium replacement meds and a daily dose of thyroxine (and maybe some treatment on my bulging eyes) I should live a back to normal, emotionally stable and active life that you would expect for a 30 year old mum.

I am looking forward to my surgery now, I am over the vanity concerns of living with such an obvious and blatant scar across my neck and I am no longer frightened of being put to sleep. I hope by me writing all this it will leave 1 person of the same condition a little further reassured too as if it weren't for Tumblr and the Web's vast array of archived blogs I wouldn't have as easily reached these conclusions either.

I will (in my next blog) cover all conditions and details mentioned in this post and detail my own story, symptoms, feelings and how using blogs has helped me to remain sane and calm. While friends around me say ‘you’ll be fine, keep your chin up’ and my natural reaction has been to scream at them for being so blase and unsupportive. OR: my favourite (passively at the school gates) ‘you’re looking well, better now?’ when you've been up most of the night pacing and simply thrown a layer of foundation and illumination on so you a) don’t frighten the kids at breakfast and b) look less death-like than you did at 4am! I now realise that it’s impossible for someone who hasn’t been through the experience of such a life changing - invisible illness to empathise and support at the lengths we require (and almost expect) with this condition.

Reassurance and relaxation is vital to the hearts stability alongside the long-term effects this has on the body in general and the performance of hormones which holds the power & control over all parts of the body during this time.

Reading personal experiences, cross referencing to DR’s knowledge trees and liaising with specialism consultants (YOUR CONSULTANT) is (let me assure you) the best possible way to understand and live with this illness and live well enough to be stable, survive and recover!

(You find me almost ready to undergo surgery, my journey is almost complete and it has taken me a long time to get to here and what a journey it has been. I feel mote confident in sharing this due to what I have read and how it has helped me, in my next blog I will detail my journey and the symptoms which have re-directed my life for me subconsciously and others against my will)..

So... I’ll bore you more next time I'm sure J and hopefully I’ll include something that you will find helpful (or humorous, or annoying). I also promise to try and be less random; throwing myself off on tangents of useless ramblings by trying to stick closer to the matter and hopefully with experience I will become less annoying!

Lots of Love and Thank You for reading.

Rachel xx